All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Things probably aren’t going to be less tense on the Grey’s Anatomy set this year, especially after Katherine Heigl‘s appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman last night, in which she all but laughs at her character’s storyline. No, actually, she does laugh at it.

– One opinion on the Paula Abdul/American Idol contract mess: Simon Cowell, who says he’s told producers he definitely wants his loopy co-star back.

– Sarah Jessica Parker is headed back to TV – as the producer of Bravo’s upcoming series that aims to be a Project Runway or Top Chef for the art world. The winner of the new series gets a gallery showing.

– How rampant is Twilight fever? So rampant that ReelzChannel is launching a weekly series devoted to all things vampire-y and Robert Pattinson-y.

– Can Shaquille O’Neal outswim Michael Phelps? We’ll see, when Shaq Vs., a new series in which the NBA star competes against other superstar athletes in their sports, premieres on ABC on Aug. 18.

– Brooke Burns has joined the cast of the Melrose Place remake, where she’ll play the wife of Michael Mancini. If we can ignore the poor acting skills of Ashlee Simpson, this thing just might not suck after all.

– Emmy-nominated Top Chef hostess Padma Lakshmi is going to star in her own NBC sitcom, in which she’ll play “a single woman working in the food world.”

– Because of the Mischa Barton situation, The CW is casting a new character, as a “Plan B” for Barton’s character, in its model drama The Beautiful Life.

– Twitter has verified Tyra Banks‘ account, which really makes that scary photo of her a head scratcher … she’s got the crazy eyes!

– The most surprising thing about Burn Notice star Jeffrey Donovan‘s arrest on suspicion of DUI: that it took the media a week to find out about it. Even TMZ didn’t pick up on the story until eight days after the arrest.

– How does Gossip Girl plan to avoid the boredom that often follows when a favorite TV couple finally hooks up? Apparently, angry sex with Chuck and Blair.

– Fans still bummed about the cancellation of The Unit can at least look forward to the complete series DVD box set Fox Home Entertainment will release on Sept. 29.

– More complete series DVD news: Shout! Factory releases 16 discs full of It’s Garry Shandling’s Show on Oct. 20.

And tonight in primetime:

– The sixth season of Hell’s Kitchen premieres on Fox (8PM ET)
– On 10 Things I Hate About You (ABC Family, 8PM), Bianca asks Cameron to help her find a party the popular kids are hosting
– David Cassidy makes a TV comeback as the papa of a potential pop star on the premiere of ABC Family’s Ruby and the Rockits (8:30PM)
– The Power of Veto ceremony unfolds on Big Brother 11 (CBS, 9PM)
– The HawthoRNe crew is extra busy when another local ER shuts down (TNT, 9PM)
– It’s the ninth round of auditions on America’s Got Talent (NBC, 9PM)
– On Better Off Ted (ABC, 9PM), Ted hopes to finally impress his dad with Phil and Lem’s baldness cure. Potential baldness cure …
– Pete and Myka look for a mind-altering object in upstate New York on Warehouse 13 (SyFy, 9PM)
– It’s night two of the fantastic five-night Torchwood: Children of Earth miniseries on BBC America (9PM)
– A former rocker gets his own rehearsal space on Man Caves (DIY Network, 9PM)
– A dangerous storm mobilizes the Coast Guard on Deadliest Catch (Discovery, 9PM)
– PC – gasp – gets a job on NYC Prep (Bravo, 9PM)
– Grace runs into trouble when she pursues a rape suspect by herself, on foot, on Saving Grace (TNT, 10PM)
– Maria ships her kid off to boarding school, leaving her more time to hang with her equally self-involved pals on Miami Social (Bravo, 10PM)
– Tiny plans a birthday party while getting ready for T.I.’s jail term on Tiny & Toya (BET, 10PM)
– Discovery Channel premieres its new reality competition series The Colony (10PM), in which contestants try to prove they could survive a global disaster
– William deals with twin sister addicts on The Cleaner (A&E, 10PM)
– And Tommy’s fam stages an intervention about his drinking, which leads to one of his all-time most selfish actions on Rescue Me (FX, 10PM)

• No Comments
• Filed in Reality, TV News
• Tags: Gossip Girl Chuck and Blair, Grey's Anatomy, Jeffrey Donovan DUI arrest, Katherine Heigl, Melrose Place remake, Mischa Barton, Padma Lakshmi sitcom, Paula Abdul contract, Sarah Jessica Parker Bravo, Shaq Vs., Shaquille O'Neal

Here’s the official line-up from The CW, followed by the network’s description of its new series:

THE CW PRIMETIME SCHEDULE: FALL 2009
(All Times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8PM – Gossip Girl
9PM – One Tree Hill

TUESDAY
8PM – 90210
9PM – Melrose Place

WEDNESDAY
8PM – America’s Next Top Model
9PM – The Beautiful Life

THURSDAY
8PM – The Vampire Diaries
9PM – Supernatural

FRIDAY
8PM – Smallville
9PM – America’s Next Top Model encore

…Read more

• No Comments
• Filed in Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: 90210, Ashlee Simpson, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Ashton Kutcher, Corbin Bleu, CW, Fall season, Kevin Williamson, Laura Leighton, Melrose Place, Michael Mancini, Mischa Barton, New shows, Remake, Smallville, Supernatural, Sydney Andrews, The Beautiful Life, The Vampire Diaries, Thomas Calabro