All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– Despite all the major changes ahead for Scrubs, Neil Flynn – The Janitor – says he may return to help wrap up his character’s story. The awesomely talented Flynn will be a regular presence on ABC this fall anyway, co-starring with Patricia Heaton in the new comedy The Middle.

– ABC Entertainment President Steve McPherson confirmed he’s talking to Paula Abdul about a gig on Dancing With the Stars, as a contestant or some sort of judge role, but with all these offers the former American Idol judge claims she’s receiving, I’m betting none of them come even close to netting her the kind of money she rejected as too little to return to AI.

– On the other hand, the AI team apparently found out how tough it is to replace Paula, as newbie guest judge Victoria Beckham reportedly came off as “icy and wooden” during her debut.

– The View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to her third child, son Isaiah Timothy, on Sunday.

– Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter (who’s also married to series star Katey Sagal) says he has seven seasons planned for the FX series, so here’s hoping the network allows him to make all of ’em. Season two guest star Henry Rollins also told critics at the Television Critics Association gathering in L.A. on Friday that his white separatist character is one bad dude, and after watching a preview of the season premiere last week, I will say that that is a major understatement.

– Lost star Elizabeth Mitchell, who also stars in ABC’s upcoming remake of V, confirmed that she will be a part of Lost‘s final season, but wouldn’t say whether or not her Juliet survives that season five finale bomb.

– The summer finale of Burn Notice last Thursday earned 7.6 million viewers, the highest ever for a series on USA Network.

– Comedian Louis C.K. is not only starring in his own autobiographical sitcom on FX, but is guest-starring as a love interest for Amy Poehler‘s character on the new season of Parks & Recreation.

– After their surprise pregnancy in the season finale, Jim and Pam won’t be waiting long to get married on the new season of The Office … in fact, the nuptials are happening in the fourth episode of season six, scheduled to air in October.

– Movieweb.com has an interview with James Michael Tyler, a.k.a. Central Perk’s Gunther from Friends, to celebrate the 15th anniversary of the sitcom’s debut. Loooove Gunther.

– The CW is at it again. Following last fall’s OMFG campaign for Gossip Girl, season three’s promos include a WTF! tagline, which the network explains stands for “Watch This Fall.”

– And tonight in primetime:

– VH1’s Lords of the Revolution miniseries premieres (8PM ET), profiling iconic personalities from the 1960s and ’70s, including Muhammad Ali in tonight’s installment
– The Jonas Brothers host the Teen Choice Awards on Fox (8PM)
– For her own selfish reasons, Adrian tries to plot a George and Anne reunion on The Secret Life of an American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family)
– The fams visit Vegas and the Hoover Dam on Great American Road Trip (8PM, NBC)
– More Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with Reeg on ABC (8PM)
– Kyra Sedgwick‘s daughter Sosie (with papa Kevin Bacon, of course) guest stars on The Closer (9PM, TNT)
– New ep of Make It or Break It on ABC Family (9PM)
– HBO’s doc of the week: the Nine Lives of Marion Barry (9PM), about the controversial former Washington, D.C. mayor (and current city councilman)
– More potential blind date hook-ups on Dating in the Dark (9PM, ABC)
– New Real Chance of Love 2 on VH1 (9PM)
– Jon & Kate Plus 8 continue to creep us out (9PM, TLC)
– Heroin addiction is the top on tonight’s Intervention (9PM, A&E)
– Kathy, last night’s Joan Rivers roaster, wraps up a 5th season on Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (10PM, Bravo)
– Terrell tapes a bit for Comedy Central on The T.O. Show (10PM, VH1)
– The contestants have to perform ’80s tunes on Making His Band (10PM, MTV)
– Buddy‘s baking up a Leaning Tower of Pisa cake on Cake Boss (10PM, TLC)
– New Raising the Bar on TNT at 10PM
– Guy goes to a Houston grocery store that serves tasty burgers on Diner, Drive-Ins and Dives (10PM, Food Network)
– Tony‘s sampling San Francisco’s best eats on Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (10PM, Travel Channel)
– Dean and Doug plot against Celia on Weeds (10PM, Showtime)
– A&E has the first season finale of Obsessed (10PM)
– History Channel’s Clash of the Gods focuses on Hercules (10PM)
– And Coop and her wedding ring are causing problems for Nurse Jackie (10:30PM, Showtime)

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• Filed in TV News
• Tags: Elisabeth Hasselbeck baby, Elizabeth Mitchell Lost, Gossip Girl WTF, Henry Rollins Sons of Anarchy, Jim and Pam wedding, Louis C.K. FX, Neil Flynn, Paula Abdul Dancing With the Stars, Scrubs, Sons of Anarchy season 2, Victoria Beckham American Idol

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– The New York Post claims Simon Cowell has been offered around $144 million per season – more than triple his current salary – to return as an American Idol judge. Is he worth it? Is anyone worth that much money for any job? Still, I don’t think I could sit through the show every week if it were Simon-less.

– Discovery Channel will go ahead with its plans for a Pitchmen marathon on July 1 (beginning at 11AM ET), leading up to the show’s season finale at 10PM. The show, of course, stars the late Billy Mays and shines the light on how his $1 billion business, with partner and fellow pitchman Anthony Sullivan, works.

– Mays, by the way, apparently suffered a heart attack and died in his sleep.

– Law & Order: Special Victims Unit stars Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni, who had been in reportedly contentious salary negotiations, have both signed on to return to the NBC drama next season. Christine Lahti is also joining the show as an ADA for four episodes.

– Former Saturday Night Live star Chris Kattan has signed on to be a regular on the new ABC comedy The Middle, which stars Patricia Heaton and Scrubs‘ Neil Flynn.

– CBS will premiere its reality series There Goes the Neighborhood on Aug. 9. American Idol alum Matt Rogers will host the show, which finds eight families stuck behind a 20-foot wall in their ‘hood, without electronic communication or entertainment (No TV! No videogames! No Internet!). The fams have to work together and compete against the other fams to win the $250,000 grand prize.

– Among VH1’s upcoming series: Reality shows starring Chili from TLC, Pepa from Salt n’ Pepa and Frank “The Entertainer” Moresco, the I Love New York and I Love Money alum who currently lives with his parents. The Entertainer will find Moresco looking for love. Line up, ladies … it’s not every day you get the chance to hook up with a 32-year-old who lives in Mom and Dad’s basement. I hope it isn’t, anyway.

– It’s official: the sixth, and final, season of Lost will include 18 hours of island drama.

And tonight in primetime:
– Fox is showing Legally Blonde (8PM ET), one of my all-time fave chick flicks
– Stars Reflect on the Man in the Mirror (8PM, TV Guide Channel), features celebs talking about Michael Jackson‘s impact on music and pop culture
– Catch Farrah Fawcett‘s chilling, Emmy-nominated performance in the 1984 TV flick The Burning Bed on Encore Drama (9:35PM)
– There’s more bratty teen drama on Bravo’s “real-life Gossip Girl” docudrama NYC Prep (9PM)
– Sean gets a surprise visitor in the hospital on Rescue Me (10PM, FX)
– More early auditions on America’s Got Talent (9PM, NBC)
– Linda has to move into Ted’s office after some toxic substance runs amuck on Better Off Ted (9:30PM, ABC)
– The BET Awards repeat (6:30PM, BET) in case you missed all the Michael Jackson tributes
– William’s father/son bonding weekend is interrupted when a pair of alcoholics need William’s help on The Cleaner (10PM, A&E)
– One smokin’ dude gets a cigar lounge on a new ep of Man Caves (9PM, DIY)
– And Dr. Mike tests leech therapy in India on Bite Me with Dr. Mike (10PM, Travel Channel)

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• Filed in Celebreality, Lost, Reality, TV News
• Tags: American Idol, Billy Mays, Chris Kattan, Chris Meloni, Christine Lahti, Farrah Fawcett, Frank "The Entertainer" Moresco, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Lost, Mariska Hargitay, Matt Rogers, Neil Flynn, Patricia Heaton, Pitchmen, Saturday Night Live, Simon Cowell, The Middle Chris Kattan, There Goes the Neighborhood

Here’s the official line-up from ABC, followed by the network’s description of its new series:

ABC PRIMETIME SCHEDULE: FALL 2009
(All Times ET)

MONDAY
8PM – Dancing With the Stars
10PM – Castle

TUESDAY
8PM – Shark Tank
9PM – Dancing With the Stars results show
10PM – The Forgotten

WEDNESDAY
8PM – Hank
8:30PM – The Middle
9PM – Modern Family
9:30PM – Cougar Town
10PM – Eastwick

THURSDAY
8PM – Flash Forward
9PM – Grey’s Anatomy
10PM – Private Practice

FRIDAY
8PM – Supernanny
9PM – Ugly Betty
10PM – 20/20

SATURDAY
8PM – Saturday Night College Football

SUNDAY
7PM – America’s Funniest Home Videos
8PM – Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
9PM – Desperate Housewives
10PM – Brothers & Sisters

…Read more

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• Filed in Comedy, Drama, TV News
• Tags: ABC, Cougar Town, Courteney Cox, Eastwick, Ed O'Neill, Elizabeth Mitchell, Flash Forward, Hank, Happy Town, Jerry Bruckheimer, Julie Bowen, Kelsey Grammer, Mark Burnett, Modern Family, Neil Flynn, New fall schedule, New fall season, Patricia Heaton, Rebecca Romijn, Shark Tank, The Deep End, The Forgotten, The Middle, Upfront, V