(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New Jersey – It’s turkey time, and that means another occasion for Teresa and her bro and sister-in-law to tick each other off. For Teresa, it’s by hosting a “Friendsgiving” dinner for Jacqueline and Caroline instead of hanging with her relatives.

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR TIME AND CHANNEL | PBS
Great Performances – Selections from the 2010 Eric Clapton Crossroads Guitar Festival in Chicago include performances by, of course, guitar god Clapton, as well as Steve Winwood, Sheryl Crow, ZZ Top, Buddy Guy, John Mayer, Vince Gill, Jeff Beck and Ronnie Wood. Host for the evening: Bill Murray.

5PM | G4
E3 2011 Live – Can’t make it to the annual Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles? G4’s got daily coverage (six hours a day, to be exact).

8PM | ABC
The Bachelorette – All’s fun when Ashley and one of her dudes experience a flash mob, but then she becomes the subject of a comedy roast that goes so badly she ends up in tears and cancels a cocktail party with the remaining bachelors.

8PM | VH1
Basketball Wives – Suzie returns, but doesn’t get a friendly welcome from Royce, while Tami thinks Meeka is trying to ingratiate herself to too many basketball wives.

8PM | LIFETIME
Last Man Standing – Anthony Michael Hall plays the husband of Army Wives‘ Catherine Bell, a former CIA agent whose secret past comes to light when her hubby is kidnapped (make that, Farmer Ted-napped!) and the crime is connected to the death of one of her fellow agents.

8PM | FOX – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
MasterChef – 100 hopefuls arrive in Los Angeles to cook up an audition for Gordon Ramsay and his fellow judges, all in the name of trying to become real chefs.

8PM | ABC FAMILY – 3RD SEASON FINALE
The Secret Life of the American Teenager – If you’ve seen those teary promos, you can prolly already guess that Adrian and Ben don’t get happy news at the hospital.

9PM | DISCOVERY – 2ND SEASON FINALE
American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior – Will a father-son build-off lead to a father-son reunion?

9PM | HBO
Bobby Fischer Against the World – The doc profiles the late, great chess whiz, including archived interviews with Fischer, who died in 2008, as well as footage of his most famous match, a 1972 victory against the Soviet Union’s Boris Spassky in the World Chess Championship.

9PM | ABC FAMILY – SERIES PREMIERE
Switched at Birth – Looking for a new drama for summer? Despite a few misses, this is a good one, revolving around two girls who were switched at birth, a fact they find out as teens. One is an artistic girl (Gilmore Girls and The Young & the Restless star Vanessa Marano) raised by a wealthy family, and the other (potential breakout Katie Lecleric) is an athletic girl who was left deaf by a childhood illness. Conflict ensues as the two try to get to know their birth families.

10PM | ID – SERIES PREMIERE
Behind Mansion Walls – The new series profiles crimes among the wealthy, beginning with a murder mystery in Palm Beach.

10PM | ABC
Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition – Chris helps Alex, a 23-year-old man who, at 459 pounds, wants to get healthy to fulfill the promise he made to his late mother and set a good example for his younger brothers.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Nurse Jackie – Coop speeds up his wedding planning, while Jackie finds herself on probation because of the drugs she pilfered from the oncology department.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Outdoor spaces get Disneyfied in the new series My Yard Goes Disney (8PM, HGTV), including tonight’s series premiere, where two backyards get connected by a train;
– Buddy has to build a massive cake that will feed 4,000 people and which has to be delivered to Las Vegas on Cake Boss (9PM, TLC);
– There’s a two-hour block of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on Comedy Central (9PM);
– On the new series It’s Everybody’s Business With Jack and Suzy Welch (9PM, CNBC), the titular couple advise companies facing difficult challenges, beginning, tonight, with Hertz and the car rental company’s new Connect car share biz;
– Val tries online dating to get over Quinn on Single Ladies (9PM, VH1);
– A sweet and funny Family Ties gem (10PM, The Hub) finds Alex yanking Andrew out of preschool when he finds out the classroom is not a competitive environment;
– Pawn Star$ (10PM, History) goodies tonight include a 1932 Lincoln Roadster and a Civil War cavalry jacket;
– Donna Summer is the judge as the contestants have to pen dance tunes on Platinum Hit (10PM, Bravo);
– There’s teen angst and then there’s teen wolf angst, which Scott finds out when he tries to juggle his new wolf persona with trying to land a second date with Allison on Teen Wolf (10PM, MTV);
– Food Network stars Tyler Florence and Michael Symon are among those who reveal restaurants that prepare specific items better than they do on Best Thing I Ever Ate (10:30PM, Food Network).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Ice-T and Breckin Meyer;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Maziar Bahari;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Werner Herzog;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Meredith Viera;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Cee Lo Green and Katie Couric;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): David Arquette and Toni Braxton;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Wanda Sykes (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Kathie Lee Gifford and Zakk Wylde;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Don Cheadle;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Timothy Allen (REPEAT).

• 1 Comment
• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior, Basketball Wives, Behind Mansion Walls, Bobby Fischer Against the World, E3 G4, Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, MasterChef, Nurse Jackie, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Switched at Birth series premiere, The Bachelorette, The Secret Life of the American Teenager season finale

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | BRAVO – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Real Housewives of New Jersey – Hard to believe, but the Joisey girls may be wishing Danielle was back after they experience the new cast additions, both relatives of Teresa. In tonight’s premiere, the newbies (Kathy and Melissa) are introduced when Teresa and her family attend a christening. They arrive late (as usual), and that sets off a throwdown that could rival the great table-flipping incident of season 1.

8PM | NBC – 4TH SEASON FINALE
Chuck – Can the team stop Vivian before she destroys Chuck and Sarah’s wedding? Now that the show will return for a 13-episode season next year, we may have to wait until then to find out … the episode is called “Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger,” after all.

8PM | FOX
House – House has to deal with some devastating info, while Thirteen’s friend needs help, but can’t be treated at the hospital, because her problem is drug-related.

8PM | CBS – 6TH SEASON FINALE
How I Met Your Mother – Ted’s life changes at a wedding, but it’s not his wedding. Yet, anyway.

9PM | THE CW – 4TH SEASON FINALE
Gossip Girl – The season ender all comes down to: What will Blair do?

9PM | TRAVEL – SERIES PREMIERE
Off Limits – The new series, hosted by history buff Don Wildman, delves into the hidden, unusual and unknown of various U.S. cities. First up, Los Angeles, where Wildman finds hidden oil rigs in a residential neighborhood, kayaks down the Los Angeles River and gets a look at a rarely-seen part of the city and visits a former Nazi compound in Southern California.

9:30PM | CBS – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Mike & Molly – Mike wigs when Peggy’s new boyfriend asks if he plans to marry Molly (Melissa McCarthy). PS – Still haven’t warmed up to M&M, but MM, show star McCarthy, is the breakout star and major scene stealer in the new chick flick Bridesmaids.

10PM | ABC – 3RD SEASON FINALE
Castle – Beckett finds a surprising tie to her mother’s killer when a hit man with key info on the murder escapes.

10 and 10:30PM | THE HUB
Family Ties – So much to love about tonight’s back-to-back eps: Not only are they the installments where Alex meets girlfriend Ellen, but it’s also when Michael J. Fox meets future real-life wife Tracy Pollan, and the episodes feature one of the all-time great sitcom musical moments, the introduction of Billy Vera & the Beaters‘ “At This Moment.” Remember?

10PM | CBS – 1ST SEASON FINALE
Hawaii Five-O – When McGarrett gets his hands on some major evidence against Wo Fat, the crime lord makes it his mission to destroy Five-O.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Nurse Jackie – Jackie finds Bill in a sorry state when she stops by to score some drugs, and Thor bonds with Mrs. Akalitus.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– A wedding and graduation are the main events on the season 3 finale of 90210 (8PM, The CW);
– It’s week nine of performances on Dancing With the Stars (8PM, ABC);
– Ben and Amy butt heads when he defends Adrian on Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– New Kid in a Candy Store on Food Network (8:30PM);
– Mad Love (8:30PM, CBS) wraps its first season;
– On American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior (9PM, Discovery), Junior rejects Senior‘s settlement offer, but when Senior’s dog dies, it may be the thing that will finally lead to a reconciliation between the estranged men;
– Jarek, Caleb and Teresa try to find a key, and missing, witness against Gibbons on The Chicago Code (9PM, Fox);
– Catch The Event (9PM, NBC) while you can; it did not get renewed for a second season;
– Tonight’s four-episode block of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM, Comedy Central) includes “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System” for romance, “Mac and Dennis Break Up” and “The Gang Reignites the Rivalry,” with the introduction of Flipadelphia;
– RJ asks his dad for driving lessons, but he gets a visit to a strip club, with his dad, too, on The Hard Times of RJ Berger (10PM, MTV);
– TJ continues to look for his partner’s killer on Law & Order: Los Angeles (10PM, NBC).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Zach Galifianakis;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jon Ronson;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Alison Klayman;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Andy Cohen and Julianne Margulies;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Eva Mendes;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Eva Longoria;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Kate Hudson (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Cee Lo Green and Howie Mandel;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Simon Helberg;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Ben Schwartz (REPEAT).

• 1 Comment
• Filed in Chuck, Classic TV, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: Castle, Castle season finale, Chuck season 4 finale, Gossip Girl season 4 finale, Hawaii Five-O season finale, House, How I Met Your Mother season 6, Mike & Molly season finale, Nurse Jackie, Off Limits, Real Houswives of New Jersey season 3 premiere

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | ABC
Castle – When Beckett heads to Los Angeles to track down a lead on the person she suspects of murdering her former partner, Castle tags along and visits the set of the movie adaptation of his book, Heat Wave. Among the episode’s guest stars: Gene Simmons, D.B. Sweeney and Prison Break star Dominic Purcell.

8PM | NBC
Chuck – It’s supposed to be a spy-free event when Chuck agrees to focus on his bachelor party, but some unexpected visitors, plus Ellie’s discovery of some major info on her dad’s old computer, take the celebration in a different direction.

8PM | FOX
House – Candice Bergen guest stars as cuddy’s mother, who threatens her daughter and House’s medical licenses when she considers filing a lawsuit against the hospital.

8PM | CBS
How I Met Your Mother – While Ted plans a romantic weekend with Zoey, Barney and Marshall argue about the Arcadian.

8:30PM | FOOD NETWORK
Kid in a Candy Store – Adam‘s quest: Find sweet treats with tropical flavor, like Rainbow Coconut Bars and Turkish Taffy.

10PM | BRAVO
Bethenny Ever After – While preparing for the Skating With the Stars finale, Bethenny also tries to plan family time with Jason and plan her big bus tour.

10PM | MTV
The Hard Times of RJ Berger – Weezer guest stars as RJ tries to figure out a way to snag fake IDs and tix to a 21-and-over concert by the band, all to impress Amy.

10PM | CBS
Hawaii Five-O – Rick Springfield guest stars as a famous fashion photog who meets a violent end when he goes to Hawaii to shoot the cover of a magazine’s swimsuit issue.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Nurse Jackie – Jackie continues to freak about Kevin encouraging a match up between Eddie and Kevin’s sister, while Coop is freaking out about his moms and Mrs. Akalitus is in a tizzy because the hospital’s religious statues are being removed.

10PM | NGC – 7TH SEASON PREMIERE
Taboo – People obsessed with their fantasy lives is the topic, and includes a creepy California dude who persists in living as a baby.

11PM | TBS
Conan – Is Will Ferrell going to make good on his threat to shave Conan‘s beard? Tonight’s the night we’ll find out.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Teddy has doubts about Marco when he catches him in a lie on 90210 (8PM, The CW);
– It’s week seven of performances on Dancing With the Stars (8PM, ABC);
– The only one sure about Amy moving in with Ricky is Amy on The Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– Is Senior ready to make up with Junior and Mikey on American Chopper: Senior Vs. Junior (9PM, Discovery)?;
– Jury tampering is just the tip of the iceberg when a crooked city official gets away with misdeeds on The Chicago Code (9PM, Fox);
– Leila and Michael try to rescue Simon on The Event (9PM, NBC);
– Serena threatens what could be a very happy moment for Blair on Gossip Girl (9PM, The CW);
– Four back-to-back episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on Comedy Central (9PM);
– Bad news threatens Emily’s career on Make It or Break It (9PM, ABC Family);
– The detectives investigate a series of bank robberies that also involve kidnapping on Law & Order: Los Angeles (10PM, NBC);
– Back-to-back new Pawn Star$ episodes (10PM, History) features original Spider-Man artwork.

And the late-night line-up:
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Philip K. Howard;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Francis Fukuyama;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Tracy Morgan and Rex Ryan;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Paul Walker and Donny and Marie Osmond;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Mark Ruffalo and Yvette Nicole Brown;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Rene Russo and k.d. lang;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Judd Apatow and LL Cool J;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Matt Lucas and Mindy Kaling;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Mark Burnett (REPEAT).

• No Comments
• Filed in Chuck, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks, Uncategorized
• Tags: Bethenny Ever After, Castle, Chuck, Conan, Hawaii Five-O, House, How I Met Your Mother, Kid in a Candy Store, Nurse Jackie, The Hard Times of RJ Berger

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | COMEDY CENTRAL
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – This week’s four-episode marathon features the show’s all-time best episode, the season four finale musical “The Nightman Cometh” (9:30PM).

6PM | LIFETIME MOVIE NETWORK
Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? – It is, hands down, in both title and the cheesy deliciousness of the plot and cast, the best movie that has ever aired on Lifetime or LMN. That is all.

9PM | DISCOVERY – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior – Has the family feud between Paul Jr. and Sr. been settled? Nope. Not at all.

9PM | NBC
The Event – Michael helps Leila, while Sean and Vicky try to make sure Sophia’s weapon doesn’t make it onto a plane headed to the U.S.

10PM | BRAVO
Bethenny Ever After – Bethenny has dinner with her food blogger pal Nick and gives him some advice that only Bethenny would deliver.

10PM | MTV
The Hard Times of RJ Berger – He had his dream girl, but now RJ’s life continues on the downward spiral as he gets caught in a  big fat lie and tries to help his very depressed dad.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Nurse Jackie – Jackie freaks out over her dwindling supply and the amount of attention Eddie is giving Kevin’s sister, while Coop gets upsetting news from his mothers.

10 and 10:30PM | HISTORY
Pawn Star$ – Back-to-back new episodes include a Super Bowl ring and a photo album signed by George S. Patton.

10PM | LOGO – 3RD SEASON FINALE
RuPaul’s Drag Race – After the finalists make videos for Ru‘s single “Champion,” a season three’s winner is chosen.

10PM | NGC
Seized & Sold: The Madoff Auction – The special takes a look at all the items taken from weasel Bernie Madoff‘s New York homes, including fancy rugs, an antique piano and a $350,000 diamond ring.

11PM | SUNDANCE CHANNEL
My So-Called Life – They’re doling them out slowly (one ep a week), but beginning with the pilot of the classic, cancelled-too-soon angsty teen drama, Sundance begins airing the entire series tonight.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Naomi worries Max is cheating on her on 90210 (8PM, The CW);
– Hanson performs during week six of competition on Dancing With the Stars (8PM, ABC);
– Ben and Adrian go house hunting on Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– Adam visits the Charms factory on Kid in a Candy Store (8:30PM, Food Network);
– Tony wraps up his seventh season of Anthony Bourain: No Reservations (9PM, Travel Channel);
– It’s the sixth season finale of The Bad Girls Club (9PM, Oxygen);
– Serena wants Charlie to spy on Dan and Blair on Gossip Girl (9PM, The CW);
– The girls run into Sasha and beg him to coach them again on Make It or Break It (9PM, ABC Family);
– Following in the “ripped from today’s headlines” tradition of the franchise, Law & Order: Los Angeles (10PM, NBC) finds the detectives investigating the death of a Hollywood player who was shot while driving her car.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Gary Oldman and Drive-By Truckers (REPEAT);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Gigi Ibrahim;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Ron Paul;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Bill Maher;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Christina Aguilera, Paul Reiser and Alison Krauss & Union Station;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Justin Bieber (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Martin Short;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Daniel Radcliffe and Darius Rucker;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Wanda Sykes and Kevin McKidd (REPEAT);
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Emmy Rossum and Jeff Tremaine.

• No Comments
• Filed in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Late Night, TV Picks
• Tags: American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior, Bethenny Ever After, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Mother May I Sleep With Danger?, My So-Called Life, Nightman Cometh, Nurse Jackie, Pawn Star$, RuPaul's Drag Race, Seized & Sold: The Madoff Auction, The Event, The Hard Times of RJ Berger

(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM | NBC
Chuck – It’s a TV rule: If Gary Cole appears in a show, it automatically makes that show worth watching. So tune in for tonight’s Chuck, in which the Office Space star returns as Sarah’s dad, a master grifter who helps his daughter and future son-in-law get their wedding money back after another swindler snags it from them.

8PM | THE CW
Gossip Girl – Thank goodness for that Blair/Dan smooch, because this season seriously needed something to move it along.

8PM | FOX
House – Thirteen rejoins the team, just as Masters (Amber Tamblyn) considers leaving it to focus on a surgical career.

8PM | CBS
How I Met Your Mother – The Barnacle wants to bond with his newly-found daddy, but worries that his life will sound boring relative to his pals’, so he asks them to lie.

9PM | TRAVEL
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations – Tony heads off to Boston, where he delves into the city’s mob history and steps into a boxing ring (and hopefully those two things aren’t related).

9PM | FOX
The Chicago Code – When five people are shot in Lincoln Park, the mayor blames Teresa and tells her the city’s rising crime rate is her responsibility.

9PM | LIFETIME
William & Kate – Is this made-for-TV dramatization of the royal romance cheesy? Deliciously so.

9:30PM | ABC
Cougar Town – A special Monday night Cougar Town calls for a special plot: Bobby and Laurie introduce Penny Can to a new audience.

10PM | BRAVO
Bethenny Ever After – As Bethenny and Jason head to Los Angeles for her first appearance on Skating With the Stars, she takes the opportunity to show her hubs her old stomping grounds and maybe look for a new L.A. home.

10PM | SHOWTIME
Nurse Jackie – Jackie gets clever while coming up with a new place to stash her pills, and Kevin invites Eddie to a family BBQ.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s week five of competition on Dancing With the Stars (8PM, ABC);
– Ricky tries to talk Ben out of getting married on The Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family);
– On The Event (9PM, NBC), Sen. Lewis spills the results of her blood tests of the White House staff;
– Comedy Central has three encore episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (9PM);
– Darby plans a meet against a club the team should be able to handily beat on Make It or Break It (9PM, ABC Family);
– When Samuel gets fired and loses his apartment, he moves in with Mike on Mike & Molly (9:30PM, CBS);
– On 20/20 (10PM, ABC), Babs Walters previews the royal wedding;
– Troubles at home lead RJ’s grades to slip, which leads him to see a tutor who definitely doesn’t have schoolwork on her mind on The Hard Times of RJ Berger (10PM, MTV);
– Sean Combs guest stars as an NYPD cop looking for revenge against a crime lord on Hawaii Five-O (10PM, CBS);
– A high-speed chase leads to the mysterious death of a city bookkeeper on Law & Order: Los Angeles (10PM, NBC);
– Back-to-back new episodes of Pawn $tars on History (10PM).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Emma Roberts;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Jamie Oliver (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): James Franco (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Chris Rock and Ellen Page (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Betty White, Matt Damon and Cake (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Judy Greer, Tracy Morgan and REO Speedwagon;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Courtney Cox;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Colin Quinn and Rachel Maddow (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Tina Fey;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Mark Hoppus (REPEAT).

• No Comments
• Filed in Chuck, Late Night, Movies, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, Bethenny Ever After, Chuck, Cougar Town, Gossip Girl, House, How I Met Your Mother, Nurse Jackie, The Chicago Code, William & Kate Lifetime movie