(ALL TIMES ET)

8:35AM | EMMYS.COM
Primetime Emmy Nomination Announcement – Bridesmaids and Gilmore Girls (oh, okay, and Mike & Molly) funny girl Melissa McCarthy and Fringe star Joshua Jackson announce the nominees for the Sept. 18 Emmy Awards. Will your faves be among those getting the early morning congrats calls?

9PM | USA
Burn Notice – Money-launderin’ Barry is back, and he needs Michael and the gang’s help to clear his brother, who’s been accused of being a big ol’ computer hacker.

10PM | COMEDY CENTRAL
Futurama – What happens when Bender testified against the Mob (the Robot Mob)? He has to enter the witness protection program, of course.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – Ramona refuses to be in the music video for LuAnn‘s new song, because she thinks it’s going to set a bad example for Avery. And you’ll be right there with Ramona … until LuAnn brings up that embarrassing “Turtle Time” thang.

10PM | CMT – SERIES PREMIERE
Texas Women – Who’s having the best week ever (still miss that show)? Texas, between the greenlight for the TNT Dallas remake and this new reality series, a sorta “Real Housewives of Texas.”

10PM | FX
Wilfred – There’s payoff in some truly funny Ryan/Wilfred moments, but tonight’s episode, with guest star Ed Helms, includes a truly disturbing storyline for Wilfred and his time at doggy day care.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM
Childrens Hospital – The docs wait for a prisoner to be executed. Oh, so they can use his heart in a transplant operation.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Roseanne pops in on The View (11AM, ABC);
– Nicole Scherzinger performs as two of the top 12 are eliminated on So You Think You Can Dance (8PM, Fox);
– Past winners return for an all-star edition of Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– The team’s on a winning streak in the 1st season finale of 4th & Forever (9PM, Current);
– It’s the first houseguest elimination of the season on Big Brother (9PM, CBS);
– Joan Rivers guest stars on Louie (10:30PM, FX).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Tina Fey and Dr. Sanjay Gupta (REPEAT);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Sgt. 1st Class Leroy Petry;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Jose Antonio Vargas;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Kyra Sedgwick;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Don Rickles and Colbie Caillat;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): J.J. Abrams (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Louis C.K. (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Bob Saget and James Blake;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Zooey Deschanel;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Cee-Lo Green and Josh Radnor (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Award shows, Burn Notice, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks, Wilfred
• Tags: Burn Notice, Childrens Hospital, Futurama, Joshua Jackson, Melissa McCarthy, Primetime Emmy Nomination Announcement, Real Housewives of New York City, Texas Women, Wilfred

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | FX
Wilfred – Remember when Wilfred dropped Ryan’s wallet at the bully’s house in the series premiere? Ryan gets it back tonight, but only because the guy, Spencer (the awesome Ethan Suplee), comes looking for him, with revenge on his mind. And once Ryan diffuses the situation, he gets a new, porn-addicted pal who, well, makes him wish he still had an enemy.

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR TIME | PBS
An American Family Anniversary Edition – It was the original reality series, and now the 1973 documentary about the Loud family has been edited down to a two-hour special of the most compelling moments from the original 12-hour run.

9PM | CBS – 13TH SEASON PREMIERE
Big Brother – This summer’s hamsters include eight newbies and three “notorious” duos from past seasons, who’ll be revealed in tonight’s premiere. Fingers crossed that Dr. Will and Evel Dick are among them …

9PM | USA
Burn Notice – Michael’s bro, Nate, comes to Miami looking for Michael’s help with a case involving a widow who’s being harassed by a loan shark. That Nate … never comes for a visit without trouble in tow.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Extreme Chef – Three chefs have to climb a mountain – carrying their cooking equipment – and then have to jump into a cold lake to catch their main ingredient.

10PM | NGC
Jurassic C.S.I.: In Living Color – Gotta love the title of this special, which delves into the history of dinosaur pigmentation.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – Not sure what Jill is up to in this episode, but it’s probably going to annoy you.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM
Childrens Hospital – Glenn (Ken Marino) returns from Vietnam.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Two of the top 14 are eliminated on So You Think You Can Dance (8PM, Fox);
– Tonight’s Wipeout obstacles include the Towering Flume of Doom (8PM, ABC);
– Fry quits his job and joins the police department on Futurama (10PM, Comedy Central);
– Psych star James Roday guest stars on the anthology series Love Bites (10PM, NBC);
– Rebellious teens are sent away to reform school on True Life (10PM, MTV);
– The former Mrs. Rudy Giuliani, Donna Hanover, plays Louie’s real estate agent on Louie (10:30PM, FX).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jane Lynch (REPEAT);
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Tom Hanks (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Gary Sinise (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Jim Carrey, Todd Rundgren and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Kevin James and Javier Colon;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Anne Hathaway (REPEAT);
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Eva Mendes (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Thomas Lennon, Weird Al Yankovic and Morgan Freeman (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Thomas Lennon;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Nate Corddry (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Burn Notice, Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks, TV Specials, Wilfred
• Tags: An American Family Anniversary Edition, Big Brother 13, Burn Notice, Childrens Hospital, Extreme Chef, Jurassic C.S.I.: In Living Color, Real Housewives of New York City, Wilfred

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | E!
50 Super Epic TV Moments – A two-hour countdown of the 50 most outrageous TV moments since 2005 (Why 2005? Seems so random) includes the infamous smoking baby in Indonesia, Sandra Bullock‘s liplock with Scarlett Johansson at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards and this year’s William & Kate royal wedding. Among the talking heads who chat about the “shocking” moments: NeNe Leakes and Jerry Springer.

9PM | USA
Burn Notice – Michael helps a woman who’s trying to locate her cousin, a victim of a human trafficking ring, but it becomes personal for him when Maddie gets involved in the case.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK – SERIES PREMIERE
Extreme Chef – A juiced up version of Dinner: Impossible finds groups of chefs competing in ever more challenging cooking contests each week. First up, the cheftestants are dropped off in a California neighborhood and tasked with whipping up dinner using unmarked canned goods. Their only resource for cooking gear: knocking on residents’ doors.

10PM | COMEDY CENTRAL
Futurama – Bender, dead?! Sorta.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – Jill and Kelly wig out about what they claim is strange behavior by Simon, and, of course, go running to Alex about their issues.

10PM | FX
Wilfred – Jenna needs to get Wilfred to the doggie doc, so, to get on her good side, Ryan volunteers to take him. But that requires tricking Wilfred, whose trust is not so easily re-earned.

10:30PM | FX
Louie – On the way to a “non-date,” Louie has an upsetting experience. But hey, it provides a good conversation starter.

10:30PM | COMEDY CENTRAL – 2ND SEASON PREMIERE
Ugly Americans – In an episode cleverly-titled “Wet Hot Demonic Summer,” Mark oversees the opening of a summer camp.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM
Children’s Hospital – Dr. Von Sydow has a little mix-up in the maternity ward, and the hospital gets a new (pediatric) plastic surgeon.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Two of the final 16 are eliminated on tonight’s So You Think You Can Dance (8PM, Fox);
– The Mood Swing is in full swing on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– The 4th season of Wicked Attraction premieres on ID (9PM);
– On True Life (10PM, MTV), heartbroken people try to reunite with their first loves.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Tom Hanks;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Bill Kristol;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Timothy Garton Ash;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Julia Roberts;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Kirstie Alley (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Patrick Dempsey and David Cook;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Shia LaBeouf;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Glenn Close (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Henry Winkler;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Florence & the Machine.

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• Filed in Burn Notice, Cartoons, Late Night, Real Housewives
• Tags: 50 Super Epic TV Moments E! special, Burn Notice, Childrens Hospital, Extreme Chef premiere, Futurama, Louie, Real Housewives of New York City, Ugly Americans season 2, Wilfred

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – The Moroccan adventure continues, as do the meltdowns. Ramona is still reeling from her blow up with Jill, which leads to another fight involving Alex and LuAnn.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
24 Hour Restaurant Battle – Two modern eateries are planned, including one that specializes in molecular gastronomy.

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM
Childrens Hospital – Blake’s ex (guest star Sarah Silverman) returns, and Briggs (guest star Nick Offerman) goes undercover in the children’s psych ward.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– G4 continues day 4 coverage of E3 2011 Live (6PM);
– The top 20 dancers are revealed on So You Think You Can Dance (8PM, Fox);
– On 4th & Forever (9PM, Current), the team continues to struggle after a loss to rival St. Bonaventure, prompting Coach Lara to talk about potential position changes;
– Texas detectives are on the hunt for a killer who murdered a teenage girl while breaking into her home on The First 48 (9PM, A&E);
– On First 48: Missing Persons (10PM, A&E), a 63-year-old cancer patient disappears, leaving a 15-year-old son alone;
– Guest stars on the new romantic anthology series Love Bites (10PM, NBC) include Michelle Trachtenberg, Kurtwood Smith, Frances Conroy and Doris Roberts;
– Real Housewives star LuAnn de Lesseps chats with Andy about her fight with Alex on Watch What Happens: Live (11:15PM, Bravo).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): George Lopez and Gary Dell’Abate;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Howard Wasdin;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Tom Ridge;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Neil Patrick Harris;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jim Carrey and Selena Gomez;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Conan O’Brien and Barry Manilow;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): J.J. Abrams and Kathy Griffin;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Kirstie Alley;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Morgan Freeman and Carson Kressley;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Interpol.

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• Filed in Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: 24-Hour Restaurant Battle, Childrens Hospital, Real Housewives of New York City

(ALL TIMES ET)

11:59PM | ADULT SWIM – 3RD SEASON PREMIERE
Childrens Hospital – If you have yet to become a devotee of this medical drama spoof that has starred or guest-starred nearly all of the truly funniest people in Hollywood, the third season’s as good a place as any to jump in. The season opener, “Run, Dr. Lola Spratt, Run,” the hospital has a quicksand emergency, but it happens on a weekend, when, of course, the doctors are MIA. Sy (Henry Winkler) tries to assemble them all, but Dr. Lola (Erinn Hayes), the resident trapped-in-quicksand expert, has a tough time getting there. Also, no spoilers on the specifics, but Jon Hamm makes another cameo.

8PM | NGC
Death of a Mars Rover – NASA Rovers Spirit and Opportunity landed on Mars in January 2004 and were supposed to stay there for 90 days. But the duo lasted for seven years and collected some invaluable info along the way. This is their “True Hollywood Story“-ish special.

8:30PM | ESPN
National Spelling Bee Finals – It’s the championship rounds of the 84th annual event. Last year’s winning word: stromuhr.

10PM | A&E
The First 48: Missing Persons – The First 48 spin-off follows the missing persons unit of the Chicago police department, beginning with a search for a missing college student and a gang member who went MIA after a drug deal.

10PM | NBC – SERIES PREMIERE
Love Bites – This anthology series was originally scheduled for the 2010-11 season, but, well, you’ll see why it didn’t quite make the cut. In tonight’s opener, the most interesting installment revolves around a married man (Lost‘s Greg Grunberg) who’s given permission by his wife to have sex with his fantasy celebrity, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Then, he meets up with the real JLH on an airplane and makes an indecent proposal …

10PM | TLC – SERIES PREMIERE
NY Ink – Ami James, from Miami Ink, realizes his dream of opening his own tattoo parlor in NYC.

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of New York City – As the women continue their adventure in Morocco, LuAnn has problems with a camel, but the big drama comes when Jill and Ramona finally decide to have it out.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s audition round 5 on So You Think You Can Dance (8PM, Fox);
– After winning the season opener, the team faces problems when both its quarterbacks struggle on 4th & Forever (9PM, Current);
– ABC has game 2 of the NBA Finals (9PM, ABC);
– It’s Tex-Mex vs. Texas BBQ on 24 Hour Restaurant Battle (10PM, Food Network);
– The final two square off in the penultimate season 6 episode of America’s Best Dance Crew (10PM, MTV).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Jake Gyllenhaal, Panic! At the Disco and Randy Jackson;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Tim Tebow;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Salman Kahn;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Will Ferrell (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Ed Helms (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Lil Jon and Rainn Wilson;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jason Sudeikis and Piers Morgan;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Nick Offerman and Maya Rudolph;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Dick Van Dyke;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Jason Winer (REPEAT).

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• Filed in Late Night, Real Housewives, TV Picks
• Tags: Love Bites, National Spelling Bee Finals, NY Ink, Real Housewives of New York City, The First 48: Missing Persons