(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | TNT – 3RD SEASON FINALE
Southland – NBC must, or at least should, regret cutting Southland loose, since it’s one of the rare dramas that has only gotten better. And tonight’s season finale keeps the good stuff flowing, as Ben (Benjamin McKenzie) wraps his rookie run while his partner, John (Michael Cudlitz), grows ever more dependent on painkillers. Elsewhere, Sammy (Shawn Hatosy) confronts Nate’s killer.

8PM | FOX
Glee – Gwyneth Paltrow returns as Holly Holliday, the fill-in sex ed teacher.

9PM | DISCOVERY – 7TH SEASON FINALE
Dirty Jobs – It’s a family affair as Mike’s mom and dad pop in while he looks back at all the family businesses he’s visited.

9PM | FOX
Raising Hope – Jimmy’s cousin Mike returns with a wife (guest star Mary Lynn Rajskub) and three “brother-husbands,” while Mike’s dad (guest star J.K. Simmons), Burt’s brother, looks to Burt for help in bonding with his son. Bonus awesome guest star: Best Week Ever host Paul F. Tompkins as one of the brother-husbands.

9PM | ABC
V – Diana tells Lisa an attack against Anna is the only way to save the humans from being wiped out.

9:30PM | FOX
Traffic Light – Adam may come to regret (erroneously) getting credit for rescuing his elderly neighbors’ puppy when Mrs. Neighbor goes overboard with her gratitude.

10PM | FX
Lights Out – Ed’s (Eamonn Walker) training plan for Lights has the whole family in an uproar, from Theresa and the girls, who don’t like the late hours, to Johnny, who’s upset that Ed won’t let Lights promote the Reynolds bout.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom – Kailyn has no choice but to move in with her mother, and Jenelle plans to move to New Jersey with Kieffer. On the good news front, Leah and Corey are happy to get baby Ali‘s diagnosis.

10PM | USA – 2ND SEASON FINALE
White Collar – Neal finally gets more info about Kate’s death.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Sully coaches some wannabe pitchmen in the second season finale of Pitchmen (7PM, Discovery);
– The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC) includes a mud pit challenge;
– New Jump City Seattle on G4 (8PM);
– It’s the classic Happy Days (8:30, The HUB) episode in which Richie and Lori Beth get married (via telephone!);
– Kenny Rogers: The First 50 Years takes a look back at the career of The Gambler (8:30PM, GAC);
– On the second season finale of Cupcake Wars (9PM, Food Network), the contestants create treats for the 50th anniversary of the Ice House Comedy Club in Pasadena;
– On Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? (9PM, WE), Joan is supposed to babysit Cooper and her friends for a weekend, but when she gets a job, she passes the babysitting baton;
– A female boxer gets a makeover on What Not to Wear (9PM, TLC);
– Several suspects keep the detectives busy when a college co-ed is murdered on Detroit 1-8-7 (10PM, ABC);
– The volunteers hunt rabbits and then eat rabbit pie on Kill It, Cook It, Eat It (10PM, Current);
– Still hoping the Real Housewives of Miami (10PM, Bravo) gets more interesting, lest it end up being as big a dud as RH of DC.

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Gary Oldman and Drive-By Truckers;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Brian Christian;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Dan Sinker;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Justin Bieber (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Seacrest, Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Aaron Eckhart;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Alex Trebek (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jennifer Aniston and Piers Morgan (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Topher Grace;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Jon Foster (REPEAT).

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• Tags: Dirty Jobs, Glee, Lights Out, Raising Hope, Southland, Teen Mom, Traffic Light, V, White Collar

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | BRAVO – SERIES PREMIERE
The Real Housewives of Miami – It’s the seventh entry in the Real Housewives franchise, and, fair warning, it starts off a bit slowly. But I’m trusting that the Bravo powers that be learned their lesson from the failure that was The Real Housewives of D.C. and wouldn’t unleash another lame (read: soooo boring) group of housewives on the series’ loyal viewers. So, bring on the drama, Bravo, in the form of the Miami sox, who include Scottie Pippen‘s wife Larsa, magazine editor Alexia Echeverria and art gallery owner Adriana Sidi. Wonder which one we’ll all end up loving to hate and hating to love?

8PM | FOX
Glee – Cue the Jamie Foxx music, as several McKinley-ites Blame It on the Alcohol after Principal Figgins warns of its dangers.

8PM | CBS
NCIS – In a particularly gruesome case, the team investigates the murder of a Marine whose teeth and fingernails have been removed.

9PM | FOX
Raising Hope – Amy Sedaris guest stars as Virginia’s cousin, who makes a surprise visit to try and snag some of Maw Maw’s cash and reveal that she’s still warm for Burt’s form.

10PM | CBS
The Good Wife – America Ferrera guests as the illegal nanny of Wendy, a situation that Eli, of course, finds very interesting. Meanwhile, Diane defends her sometime lover, ballistics expert Kurt McVeigh (guest star Gary Cole), when he’s sued for testimony he gave during a recent trial.

10PM | FX
Lights Out – Johnny worries that his bro isn’t being properly trained for his comeback, especially since he keeps losing weight.

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – Tonight’s episode’s title says it all, hmmm, Crosby: “Do Not Sleep With Your Autistic Nephew’s Therapist”?

10PM | TNT
Southland – John and Ben bend the rules to help a kiddie, while Lydia and Josie look after an alcoholic who’s a key witness in an upcoming murder trial.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Corey proposes, Chelsea tries (sorta) to focus on school and Jenelle, once again, has to find a new place to live.

11PM | MTV
My Life as Liz – Poor Liz. After her romantic trek through New York with Bryson, she finishes her art project, but then receives a crushing text message from her pals in Texas.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Frontline (Check local listings for time and channel, PBS) looks at recent events in Egypt;
– The teams find out two players will be ousted this week on Biggest Loser: Couples (8PM, NBC);
– On Jump City Seattle (8PM, G4), it’s all about freerunning in Fenway Park;
– The adorable Jamie tries out for the baseball team on One Tree Hill (8PM, The CW);
– On Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern (9PM, Travel), Andrew visits Namibia, where he samples dried worms and, gulp, wildebeest eyeballs;
– On Dirty Jobs (9PM, Discovery), Mike cleans a boat’s fish grinder;
– Mother and daughter still aren’t speaking to each other after last week’s fight on Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? (9PM, WE);
– On NCIS: Los Angeles (9PM, CBS), Deeks is shot during a convenience store robbery, but it’s unclear whether he was the target of the attack or just in the wrong place at the wrong time;
– Diana bonds with Lisa and Erica goes to Hong Kong in pursuit of thwarting Anna on V (9PM, ABC);
– A breast cancer survivor who works as a clown but who wants to re-enter the corporate world gets a makeover on What Not to Wear (9PM, TLC);
– American Treasures (10PM, Discovery) is a new series that follows an archaeologist and an anthropologist who travel across the country to appraise historical artifacts;
– Love/Lust (10PM, Sundance) unfolds the history of high heels;
– An Iraq War veteran gets to witness the birth of his second baby on One Born Every Minute (10PM, Lifetime);
– New Tosh.0 on Comedy Central (10PM);
– Peter and Neal work with U.S. marshals who are trying to nab an FBI agent selling witness info on White Collar (10PM, USA).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Matthew Perry, Jason Aldean and The Situation;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Anderson Cooper;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Bing West;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Amy Poehler and Deerhunter;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Owen Wilson and Rachel Maddow;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Martin Lawrence, Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Cameron Diaz, Henry Winkler and Cake;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jeremy Irons, the Farrelly Brothers and Destroyer;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): John Waters and Malin Akerman;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): RedOne and Richard King.

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• Tags: Glee, Lights Out, My Life as Liz, NCIS, Parenthood, Raising Hope, Southland, Teen Mom 2, The Good Wife, The Real Housewives of Miami premiere

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | BRAVO
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Dinner Party From Hell: Producers’ Cut – It’s tough to imagine how this episode could be any crazier than it was, from Camille‘s passive-aggressive behavior to her wackadoo pal Allison-the Psychic-With-the Electronic Cigarette‘s aggressive-aggressive behavior, but Bravo’s promising to dish up a fresh helping of drama, so dig in.

7PM | DISCOVERY
Pitchmen – A stadium chair, an electric skateboard and an alternative to the chip clip are on tap for Sully.

8PM | FOX
Glee – He didn’t get the Best New Artist love at the Grammys (robbed), but two of Justin Bieber‘s tunes pop up in tonight’s Glee.

8PM | G4
Jump City: Seattle – Remember that killer parkour scene in Casino Royale? This new series follows the Pro Parkour League in Seattle.

8PM | CBS
NCIS – Gibbs investigates the death of a Marine who was killed in an assassination attempt on a politician he was guarding, while the team protects the politico’s daughter, a U.S. college student who’s also crushing on McGee.

9PM | FOX
Raising Hope – The Chances find some old home movies that lead to the surprising reason behind why they tend to be a healthy people.

10PM | CBS
The Good Wife – How very Zuckerbergian-ish: Will and Diane represent an Internet bazillionaire who’s ticked off at the way he was portrayed in a movie about his life.

10PM | NBC
Parenthood – The show that just keeps getting better brings in Lost star Michael Emerson as a man with Asperger’s who hosts a birthday party for Max.

10PM | TNT
Southland – Lydia (Emmy-worthy Regina King) gets suspended and spends her time bonding with an injured witness.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Surprise, not: Adam proves to be such a massive tool as a roommate that he offends Megan, who moves out. Good move inviting that back into your life, Chelsea.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– USA has closing night coverage of the 135th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (8PM);
– The Cupcake Wars (9PM, Food Network) competitors fashion treats for a Cirque du Soleil party;
– The Hellcats (9PM, The CW) try to concoct a plan to save their funding;
– On Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? (9PM, WE), Joan and Melissa meet with Perez Hilton;
– Sam and Cullen go undercover as California highway patrolmen (like Ponch and Jon!) to ferret out some corrupt cops on NCIS: Los Angeles (9PM, CBS);
– On V (9PM, ABC), Lisa meets her grandmother and Anna asks Ryan to help her eliminate the Fifth Column;
– On Detroit 1-8-7 (10PM, ABC), Fitch and Washington investigate an ex-con’s claim that he killed two people in self defense;
– On Hard Time (10PM, NGC), a female prison in Ohio includes an inmate who’s raising her baby inside the prison;
– Lights misses the fam when he moves into a hotel to train in private on Lights Out (10PM, FX);
– Love/Lust (10PM, Sundance) unfolds the history of the bikini;
– Tosh chats with The Big O on Tosh.0 (10PM, Comedy Central);
– New Onion SportsDome (10:30PM, Comedy Central);
– Bryson‘s in NYC, but the visit doesn’t go as well as he hoped it would on My Life as Liz (11PM, MTV);

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Dr. Phil, Jump City: Seattle and Ginnifer Goodwin;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): January Jones;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Christiane Amanpour and David Albright;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Josh Groban and a top 10 list with Joy Philbin;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Liam Neeson and Gretchen Wilson;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Justin Bieber, Far East Movement and Diane Kruger;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Eric Stonestreet and Jeremy Renner;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jeff Probst, Victoria Beckham and Drive-By Truckers;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): William Shatner;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Kevin Smith.

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• Tags: Glee, Jump City: Seattle parkour, Justin Bieber Glee, NCIS, Parenthood, Pitchmen, Raising Hope, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Dinner Party From Hell, Southland, Teen Mom, The Good Wife

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | BRAVO
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion, Part 2 – Does Kim Richards really have an alcohol problem? Did her sister Kyle really steal her house from her? Did Kim go to rehab? Will her fellow RHoBH castmates finally stop hinting at her alleged drinking problem and finally talk about it on the conclusion of the reunion? Will Lisa and hubby Ken go into detail about their bitter falling out with former houseguest Cedric? Was Cedric’s heartbreaking story about being abandoned by a prostitute mother when he was a small boy all made up? So many questions still unanswered, so here’s hoping tonight’s Andy Cohen-hosted reunion finally answers them all.

6AM | TCM
31 Days of Oscar – The network’s annual month-long celebration of Oscar flicks kicks off with the 1933 drama Eskimo (a Best Film Editing winner) and continues with more great films than any of us possibly have time to watch, meaning this is a really good time to clear those episodes of Rubicon you’re never gonna watch off the DVR and schedule it to catch some of the many gems in TCM’s lineup.

8PM | PBS
Pioneers of Television – This installment of the TV history series focuses on crime dramas, including The Untouchables, Mannix, Police Woman, Hawaii Five-O (the original, of course) and The Rockford Files, and interviews with Angie “Pepper Anderson” Dickinson and Rockford himself, James Garner.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Chopped – Catfish s’mores, anyone? What the heck else are the contestants gonna do with an appetizer basket that includes catfish and marshmallows?

10PM | PBS
Independent Lens – The film festival award-winning documentary For Once in My Life is in the spotlight, following the feel-good story of the Spirit of Goodwill Band,  a group of talented musicians, with various mental and physical disabilities, who get together and make great music.

10PM | FX
Lights Out – C’mon, people. Remember what happened to Terriers, that other way underrated FX show you kept forgetting to check out? Don’t let that happen to Lights Out.

10PM | LIFETIME
One Born Every Minute – Yes, it happens every day, but the miracle of birth still makes for compelling, funny and sometimes heartbreaking subject matter in this new documentary series, which follows the action in a maternity ward at a hospital in the C-Bus, Columbus, Ohio.

10PM | TNT
Southland – So, that happened last week, meaning viewers are now on notice that anything can happen on this gritty L.A. police drama.

10PM | MTV
Teen Mom 2 – Jo wants to get back together with Kailyn, but, single teen momma or not, she can do better than him or that other doofus she was dating.

10PM | USA
White Collar – In an episode titled “What Happens in Burma,” Peter and Neal deal with jewel smugglers to help free a diplomat’s son who’s been accused of a crime he didn’t commit. And, Paul Blackthorne is back as Julian Larssen. USA should give that guy his own show, no?

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Melrose Place alum Thomas Calabro guest stars on a new NCIS (8PM, CBS);
– Brooke and Julian are getting married on One Tree Hill (8PM, The CW);
– On Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? (9PM, WE), Joan comes up with a solution for her problem with Melissa‘s attractive nanny: she picks out an unflattering uniform for Dominica;
– Seriously Funny Kids is the new Heidi Klum-hosted reality series that features, as the title suggests, kids. Who are funny. Seriously (9PM, Lifetime);
– On Detroit 1-8-7 (10PM, ABC), Fitch is a murder suspect while he’s investigating a triple homicide;
– The crafty Wendy Scott-Carr tries to blackmail Peter into dropping out of the race on The Good Wife (10PM, CBS);
– When Chachi sells his soul to the devil’s nephew, the only way to get it back is for Fonzie to abstain from kissing girls for 24 hours. Classic Happy Days (10PM, The Hub);
– On Kill It, Cook It, Eat It (10PM, Current TV), everyone loves chicken nuggets … until they not only find out how they’re made, but have to actually participate in making them;
– Parks and Recreation scene stealer Nick Offerman – and, oh yeah, Jennifer Aniston – visit Conan (11PM, TBS);
– And Matthew Perry and funny guy Chris Elliott chat with Dave on The Late Show With David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS).

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• Tags: 31 Days of Oscar, Chopped, Lights Out, One Born Every Minute Lifetime, Pioneers of Television, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, Southland, Teen Mom 2, White Collar

All the tube news that’s fit to surf …

– ABC has a novel way of promoting its upcoming V series remake, which premieres on Nov. 3: The network has hired skywriters to create giant “V”s in the sky near 26 U.S. landmarks, starting on Nov. 23 and continuing until the show debuts.

– Southland producer John Wells says two networks are interested in picking up the cop drama that NBC canceled before its second season began.

– Taylor Swift will pull a Justin Timberlake by being the host and musical guest on Saturday Night Live‘s Nov. 7 episode.

– Fox is developing a sitcom based on the dog-training life of The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan. That 70s Show star Wilmer Valderrama will play a character based on Milan.

– Last week’s Balloon Boy saga, not surprisingly, was part of a stunt to land Balloon Boy’s family on (another) reality show; the fam had already appeared on ABC’s Wife Swap.

– Samuel L. Jackson isn’t starring in a TV series yet, but he is producing two in-development projects, including a comedy and a medical drama for CBS.

– Mad Men Emmy nominee Elisabeth Moss is guest starring on NBC’s medical drama Mercy. Her episode, in which she plays a cancer patient, airs on Nov. 4.

– The Hills star Stephanie Pratt – sister of Spencer Pratt – was arrested on Sunday on suspicion of drunk driving.

– The Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel is engaged.

– On Glee this week (Weds., Fox, 9PM ET): Will sings “The Thong Song” and Puck sings Neil Diamond.

– Kelly Ripa confirms she and hubby (and former All My Children co-star) Mark Consuelos will return to the soap for a couple of episodes to celebrate AMC‘s 40th anniversary.

– And The New York Times wonders if the late DJ AM‘s participation in the MTV reality series Gone Too Far might have led to his drug use relapse.

– And tonight in primetime:
– Barney tries to talk Robin into becoming a U.S. citizen on How I Met Your Mother (8PM ET, CBS)
– A guest appearance by Ernie Hudson is at least one (and maybe the only) reason to watch Heroes (8PM, NBC)
– On One Tree Hill (8PM, The CW), Nathan’s scandal jeopardizes his endorsement deals
– Dancing With the Stars week five (8PM, ABC)
– On Good Eats (8PM, Food Network): cooking with beer and wine
– New Lincoln Heights (8PM) on ABC Family
– A police detective thinks he’s going to die at 40, because all the men in his family do on a new House (8PM, Fox)
– On a special Man Caves episode (8:30PM, DIY), Ace of Cakes star Duff Goldman gets a cool new space for his band to practice
– Billie gives the fellas love advice on Accidentally on Purpose (8:30PM, CBS)
– On Greek (9PM, ABC Family), if Evan’s not known as the rich kid, then who is he?
– HBO’s Schmatta: Rags to Riches to Rags (9PM) unfolds the history of the garment district in New York City
– Serena and Nate team up to help Carter on Gossip Girl (9PM, The CW)
– Pot City, USA (9PM, A&E) is just what it sounds like, an investigation into the pot-heavy area of Humboldt County, California
– Witch Haze, Daffy and Tweety join Bugs Bunny for Bugs Bunny’s Howl-oween on the Cartoon Network (9PM)
– A murder case puts to Lightman Group in danger on Lie to Me (9PM, Fox)
– Fall goodies like pumpkin pie, apple cider and candy corn are spotlighted on Unwrapped (9PM, Food Network)
– New Trauma episode (9PM, NBC)
– Wil Wheaton guests on The Big Bang Theory (9:30PM, CBS), as Sheldon’s competition in a trading card contest
– The Jay Leno Show continues to feel 90 minutes early on NBC (10PM)
– Castle (10PM, ABC) and Beckett investigate the murder of a woman whose body was found in a manhole cover
– Guy visits oldies but goodies – like a 1940s diner in L.A. – on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (10PM, Food Network)
– The chefs create circus-themed cakes on Ultimate Cake Off (10PM, TLC)
– New Million Dollar Listing ep (10PM) on Bravo
– DJ AM stages an intervention for a young heroin addict on Gone Too Far (10PM, MTV)

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• Tags: Balloon Boy, Bethenny Frankel engaged, Glee, Kelly Ripa Mark Consuelos All My Children, Southland, V