(ALL TIMES ET)

8PM | FOX
American Idol – Adam Lambert returns to perform, as the first of the 13 finalists gets the boot in the results show. A few thoughts on last night’s performance episode: It’s great to see Randy finally stepping up and giving real critiques; while Steven Tyler was entertaining in the audition rounds, so far, he’s proven himself to be almost as useless as an incoherent Paula Abdul when it comes to constructive comments in the performance shows; and, though Jennifer Lopez has been my favorite of the judges this season, it was off-putting that she didn’t know who Ryan Adams is. Overall, I’m finding the season to be more pleasant than seasons past, but I’m also less compelled by any one contestant. They’re still, on the whole, picking bad songs, the females aren’t distinguishing themselves at all (except for the fact that they’re apparently raiding the old Dynasty wardrobe – those dated dresses!) and while lots of people seem to be impressed with Cowboy Scotty, am I the only one who thinks he’s just been doing an okay impersonation of Garth Brooks, in both his behavior and his performances?

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – All of a sudden, Leonard has too many women in his life: Priya, and Penny, who Priya wants out of his life.

9PM | FOX
Bones – Booth calls on his military training to help him track Jacob Broadsky, the guy who killed the Grave Digger and has now moved on to new targets. Elsewhere, ZZ Top-er Billy F. Gibbons returns as Angela’s daddy, who thinks it should be up to him to name her baby.

9PM | CBS
CSI – The CSIs investigate the murder of a former cop, who was convicted of killing his wife and was killed while serving his prison sentence. He also left behind a list of people he suspected in his wife’s murder, leading the team to reconsider his conviction in the process.

10PM | FX
Archer – Malory orders Lana to help actress Rona Thorne prepare to play a spy in her new movie, and takes the opportunity to pen a little role for herself in the thriller.

10PM | FOOD NETWORK
Ice Brigade – On the heels of last week’s working ice pool table, tonight the team builds an icy DJ booth, with working ice turntable, speakers and headphones.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – The Situation, whose role on the show this season has been greatly diminished, tries to stir up trouble by poking Ronnie to find out who Sammi‘s been texting. Meanwhile, Vinny and Pauly road trip to Staten Island.

10PM | NGC
Ultimate Factories – This week’s episode goes inside the Jack Daniel’s factory in Tennessee, while next week’s installment revolves around a visit to a Coca-Cola factory in Baton Rouge. Clever scheduling.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– CNBC has a new installment of How I Made My Millions (9PM);
– On Man vs. Wild (9PM, Discovery), snakes, leeches and a torrential downpour greet Bear in Borneo;
– My Big Redneck Intervention (9PM, CMT) finds a country girl who got used to life in the big city returning home;
– Kate is hired by a singer who wants to convince his bandmates to allow their song to be used in a commercial on Fairly Legal (10PM, USA);
– A doctor is found murdered on a golf course on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Twins from his past visit Chris on Eagleheart (11:59PM, Adult Swim).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Seth Rogen;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Trey Parker and Matt Stone;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Jeff Greenfield;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Adam Sandler and Chris Colfer (REPEAT);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Aubrey Plaza and Ashton Kutcher (REPEAT);
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Pee-wee Herman and the cast of Sister Wives;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Henry Winkler and Cameron Diaz (REPEAT);
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Snooki and Martin Bashir (REPEAT);
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Kevin McKidd and Wanda Sykes;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Brooklyn Decker (REPEAT).

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• Tags: American Idol, Archer, Bones, CSI, Ice Brigade, Jersey Shore, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist, Ultimate Factories NGC

(ALL TIMES ET)

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – When a blogger accuses TGS of being misogynistic, Liz hires a female comedian for the writing staff. But when the new hire seems to be perpetuating female stereotypes herself, Liz and Jenna decide to put her in her place.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – J.Lo, seriously, get a grip. We were all sad to see Chris Medina go, but it was the right decision. Besides, he’s already landed a gig on The Tonight Show Friday.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – When Sheldon realizes the gang doesn’t consider him to be the center of their universe, he packs up his bat and ball, or in his case, his Halo and Klingon Boggle, and goes off to find new friends.

8PM | NBC
Community – It’s Greendale student election time, and Annie, Jeff, Leonard and Star Burns are running against each other. Meanwhile, as the students prepare for a visit from the vice president, Abed makes friends with a secret service agent who’s scoping out the campus.

9PM | CNBC
How I Made My Millions – Unfolding the backstories of the fortunes made by the owner of 1-800-GOT-JUNK? and the inventor of the Super Soaker.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Todd Packer (guest star David Koechner) in the house! And, if he has his way, he’ll be in the house permanently, as he hopes to convince Michael to give him a job in the office. But while Michael may find him amusing, the rest of the office finds him obnoxious, and bristles at the idea of seeing him every day.

9PM | USA – 2ND SEASON FINALE
Royal Pains – Divya and Raj take dance lessons to get ready for their wedding, which, surprise, doesn’t go as planned …

9PM | HBO
Thurgood – Laurence Fishburne earned a Tony nomination for this, his portrayal of Thurgood Marshall, the first black justice on the U.S. supreme court. One nitpick, HBO: Did you really have to schedule this against Fishburne’s CSI?

9:30PM | NBC
Parks & Recreation – Ron and Leslie head off to Indy to be honored for their work on the Harvest Festival, and back in Pawnee, Andy and April try to come up with cheap date ideas.

10PM | FX
Archer – Woodhouse takes a trip down memory lane when his old war buddies start dying mysteriously, and Archer takes it upon himself to track down the alleged killer of the war vets.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Alaric makes a major confession to Jenna on The Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– It’s family night on Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Jeff declares it “Jeff Day,” but the cleaning lady interrupts him on Rules of Engagement (8:30PM, CBS);
– Zombies?! How else to explain two men who spring back to life after being pronounced dead on CSI (9PM, CBS)?;
– Meredith discovers her fertility treatments are causing vision problems on Grey’s Anatomy (9PM, ABC);
– Nikita (9PM, The CW) is double crossed when she tries to get Alex out of the country;
– Five teens learn the harsh realities of prison life at a Maryland correctional institution on Beyond Scared Straight (10PM, A&E);
– When The Situation takes too long getting his “fresh to death” look in order, the other guys in the house ditch him on Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV);
– Jane and company may not have to look very far for a suspect when an antiques dealer is murdered on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Violet frets about what her co-workers will say when they find out they’re in her book on Private Practice (10PM, ABC);
– Chris heads to Mexico to dole out justice on Eagleheart (11:59PM, Adult Swim).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Cory Monteith;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Austan Goolsbee;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Mike Huckabee and Glenn Greenwald;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Bright Eyes and Sen. Rand Paul;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Hanson, DJ Pauly D and Meredith Viera;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Anne Heche and Jason Biggs;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Owen Wilson, Adele and Kelly Ripa;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Michael Stipe and Miley Cyrus;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Forest Whitaker;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Fred Armisen.

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• Tags: 30 Rock, American Idol, Archer, Community, How I Made My Millions, Parks & Recreation, Royal Pains season 2 finale, The Big Bang Theory, The Office, Thurgood HBO

(ALL TIMES ET)

9PM | NBC
The Office – Remember Threat Level Midnight, that script the gang found in Michael’s desk? Well, it turns out he actually produced the movie (with staffers current and former as the cast), and tonight he’s going to unspool his “Michael Scott Joint” for Holly and the gang. Their reviews? Well, he might have a tough time finding even two thumbs up.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – Hollywood rounds, third episode. Don’t worry, we’re almost there. Next week: the top 20 is revealed.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard starts dating Raj’s sister again.

8PM | NBC
Community – Pierce pretends to be dead and leaves the study group with final gifts, but the dead dude’s gifts turn out to be even more troubling than Pierce’s usual shenanigans.

8PM | THE CW
The Vampire Diaries – Stefan ‘fesses up to Elena that he used to be a vicious murderer who killed members of her family. Ladies … dealbreaker?

9PM | CBS
CSI – Justin Bieber returns as troubled teen Jason McCann, who warns Nick about a dangerous situation.

9PM | DISCOVERY – 6TH SEASON PREMIERE
Man vs. Wild – Bear sees it all in Arizona, from scorching deserts to bone-chillingly cold mountains.

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – While Andy tries to woo April back, Ben is haunted by his past as a famous teen mayor.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – This sounds like a triple winner: Jenna tries to help Liz rebound from her breakup with Carol, Jack loses his business mojo when the baby keeps him from sleeping and Frank and Pete form a rock band (so getting visions of Jeffster! here).

10PM | FX
Archer – While Archer and Lana are off in New Orleans on a case (well, and to get a vacay in the Big Easy, as far as Archer’s concerned), Mallory orders the office to go green … yep, she wants the “freebie socialist tax credits.”

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– The Yule Log Jam and, of course, the Big Balls are among the obstacles on Winter Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Infamous Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Camille Grammer guest stars in the first season finale of $#*! My Dad Says (8:30PM, CBS);
– Harsh: a wedding planner is found dead, in a tanning bed, on Valentine’s Day on Bones (9PM, Fox);
– On Grey’s Anatomy (9PM, ABC), Bailey and Eli, um, connect;
– When Alex is double crossed by a friend, guess who has to rescue her? Yep, Michael and Nikita (9PM, The CW);
– Colleen participates in a major prostitution sting on Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC);
– Hank thinks there’s a medical reason a woman can’t relax in the Hamptons on Royal Pains (9PM, USA);
– Country crooner Clay Walker is shocked by the prices when he looks for a Big Apple home on Selling New York (9PM, HGTV);
– Ronnie bums about Sammi‘s departure and Deena gets so sloppy drunk that Situation anoints her the “sloppopotamus” on The Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV);
– Hightower goes into the field with Jane when Lisbon is injured on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Addison returns home, with her friends in tow, on Private Practice (10PM, ABC);
– Chris Elliott stars in a new Eagleheart on Adult Swim (11:59PM, Cartoon Network).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Martin Short and Chris Bosh;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Ed Gillespie;
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): TBA;
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Nathan Fillion, Paris Hilton and the Scissor Sisters;
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Jenna Fischer and Abigail Breslin;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): J-WOWW, Far East Movement and Hayden Panettiere;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jason Sudekis and Keri Hilson;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Michael Showalter and William H. Macy;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Sarah Chalke and Louie Anderson;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Director David O. Russell.

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• Tags: $#*! My Dad Says season finale, 30 Rock, American Idol, Archer, Community, CSI, Justin Bieber CSI, Man vs. Wild, Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory, The Office, The Vampire Diaries

(ALL TIMES ET)

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – Remember what happened the last time Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) and his ex-wife Tammy (guest star Megan Mullally, Offerman’s real-life wife) got together? Insanity ensued, which is why Tammy’s return in tonight’s episode is must-see TV. Especially since her return is brought about by Tom (Aziz Ansari), who begins dating Tammy to get back at Ron, who’s dating Tom’s ex-wife Wendy (Jama Williamson). Also, a jail cell is involved, so, again, must-see TV.

8PM | FOX
American Idol – After weeks of those drawn out city auditions, the action moves to Hollywood, where we’ll finally see which wannabes have the chops to make it into the finalist pool.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – Leonard, a gigolo … Sheldon, his pimp??! If a wealthy widow (guest star Jessica Walter) who wants to donate big bucks to the university – provided she gets some one-on-one time with Leonard – has anything to say about it.

8PM | NBC
Community – The last time I saw Andy Dick‘s name in the news, he was getting thrown out of an awards show for porn. Tonight, he’s guesting on Community. A step up, to say the least.

8PM | ABC
Wipeout – The Hockey Hottie, Mr. Grinch and Holiday Hams … you guess which ones are contestants and which ones are Wipeout obstacles.

9PM | ABC
Grey’s Anatomy – Papa Grey returns with a stomachache that means he’s rejecting the liver Meredith so thoughtfully gave him. He’s also bringing a young, tattooed girlfriend with him, which means Mer’s gonna have a stomachache, too.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Michael and Holly spend Valentine’s Day together, which gives me more hope that the writers will send Mr. Scott off with the happy ending he deserves. Well, the happy ending for him that the audience deserves, anyway.

10PM | NBC
30 Rock – It’s Valentine’s Day and Carol (guest star Matt Damon) is back, which, in Liz Lemon Land, probably means romantic trauma ahead.

10PM | FX
Archer – Archer may be someone’s babydaddy. His favorite hooker’s babydaddy, actually.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – Ronnie, Sammi fight. Ronnie mad. Ronnie smash!

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– Stefan and Elena try to get romantic on a trip to the lake on The Vampire Diaries (8PM, The CW);
– Booth and Sweets have commitment on their minds on Bones (9PM, Fox);
– On Nikita (9PM, The CW), Michael meddles in Alex’s life with Nathan;
– Colleen helps protect U.S. marshals on Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC);
– Ace and the gang make a Back to the Future cake for Michael J. Fox (!) on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network);
– And rebellious teens visit San Quentin on Beyond Scared Straight (10PM, A&E).

And the late-night line-up:
– Conan (11PM, TBS): Seth MacFarlane and Brooklyn Decker;
– The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11PM, Comedy Central): Former RNC chairman Michael Steele (REPEAT);
– The Colbert Report (11:30PM, Comedy Central): Author Michael Lewis (REPEAT);
– The Late Show with David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS): Snooki (yes, that one);
– The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35PM, NBC): Rob Lowe, Amber Riley and Nicki Minaj;
– Lopez Tonight (Midnight, TBS): Brad Womack and Taylor Momsen;
– Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05AM, ABC): Jimmy and Justin Bieber perform their Twitter song;
– Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35AM, NBC): Jennifer Aniston and Piers Morgan;
– The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:37AM, CBS): Jennifer Beals;
– Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35AM, NBC): Diplo and Alberta Cross.

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(ALL TIMES ET)

11:59PM | CARTOON NETWORK’S ADULT SWIM
Eagleheart – The show runs a mere 15-minutes long, but fans who’ve been tickled by Chris Elliott‘s uber-goofy sensibilities since the all-too-short-lived class Get a Life will appreciate his newest goofy comedy. Elliott stars as U.S. marshal Chris Monsanto, he of the ridiculous blond wig and addiction to vengeance. Vengeance against who? Vargas, the man who has killed every one of Monstanto’s partners. Monsanto puts the big baddie in his place in tonight’s opener, and then, in a development that tells you all you need to know about the silliness that’s to come, he nurses Vargas back to health … so he kill him the right way later on.

8PM | CBS
The Big Bang Theory – When Sheldon gets some negative feedback from his students via the Twitterverse, he turns to Penny for acting lessons to make him a better teacher.

8PM | NBC
Community – Abed and Jeff try to include a loner student in their fun when they plan a game of Dungeons and Dragons, but it’s another loner – Pierce – they should really be worried about.

8PM | THE CW
Vampire Diaries – Elena’s (Nina Dobrev) daddy issue in tonight’s episode: Her father, John Gilbert, returns to town.

9PM | FOX
Bones – When a man is murdered, disguised as a scarecrow and left in a remote field, Booth and Brennan have to work quickly to solve the crime, before an impending storm disturbs the evidence. And their suspects in the creepy crime: his wives, all three of them; turns out dude was a polygamist, married to three sisters.

9PM | CBS
CSI – Are the rumors true? Could William Petersen be making a brief return tonight as Grissom? He certainly factors into the mama drama (and mama-in-law drama) in tonight’s episode: Marlee Matlin guests as Grissom’s ex-girlfriend, a deaf professor who works at the college where Grissom’s mom also teaches, and where Grissom’s wife, Sara, has to investigate the murder of a faculty member.

9PM | NBC
The Office – Michael goes MIA after he makes Jim stop at a gas station bathroom, where Mr. Halpert leaves him when he gets an emergency phone call from Pam’s mom.

9:30PM | NBC
Parks and Recreation – On a show full of scene stealers, Chris Pratt, as resident shoeshine stand owner Andy, is one of the best, and most subtle. Tonight, Andy turns to newbie Chris (Rob Lowe) for advice on how to win April back, while Leslie gets advice on her time capsule project from guest star Will Forte.

10PM | FX
Archer – Has our favorite animated spy group been Madoff-ed? Malory decides to sell ISIS after she’s wiped out in a Ponzi scheme.

10PM | MTV
Jersey Shore – Will Sammi and Ronnie make it through this episode without another crying/screaming breakup/meltdown? Probably not, but Ronnie has bigger issues to deal with.

Worth flipping to during commercials:
– It’s the sixth audition episode for this season of American Idol (8PM, Fox);
– It’s a safe bet that there’s nothing sweet about the gingerbread house obstacle on tonight’s Wipeout (8PM, ABC);
– Ed (William Shatner) gets jealous when a wealthy guy (guest star Lee Majors) wants to date Rosemary on $#*! My Dad Says (8:30PM, CBS);
– The Chief is unimpressed with Bailey’s efforts to integrate social media into the OR when she Tweets live from the operating room on Grey’s Anatomy (9PM, ABC);
– Season four kicks off on Million Dollar Listing (9PM, Bravo);
– Alex asks for Nikita’s help when she’s asked to kill a prince at a party, but when Division finds out Nikita’s present, Michael is ordered to kill her on a new Nikita (9PM, The CW);
– On Police Women of Cincinnati (9PM, TLC), Colleen brings down a drug dealer who’s operating in a public park, while Mandy helps a single mom whose ex-boyfriend is threatening her with a gun;
– Duran Duran, Kid Rock and Jason Derulo perform at the Super Bowl Fan Jam 2011 (9PM, VH1);
– Duff and the crew make cakes for the New York Rangers and Medieval Times on Ace of Cakes (10PM, Food Network);
– Six teens are put into tiny cells in a South Carolina prison in hopes of deterring them from continuing their wicked ways on Beyond Scared Straight (10PM, A&E);
– Jane is taken hostage by a murder suspect who wants t prove his innocence – by replacing the murder rap with a kidnapping charge? – on The Mentalist (10PM, CBS);
– Season four of Ultimate Factories premieres with visits to the factories that make the Dodge Challenger (10PM, NGC);
– Howard Stern is Dave‘s guest on The Late Show With David Letterman (11:35PM, CBS);
– And Episodes star Matt LeBlanc chats with Craiggers on The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson (12:37PM, CBS).

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• Tags: Archer, Bones, Chris Elliott, Chris Pratt, Community, CSI, Eagleheart, Jersey Shore, Nina Dobrev, Parks and Recreation, The Big Bang Theory, The Office, Vampire Diaries, William Petersen CSI return